The first week was a blur of repairs, sitting on hold and waiting in lines.. naturally, I tried to get everything done AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE.. thinking this was make me feel "calmer" and "more settled" but it just stirred everything up quicker and added to my frustration. I didn't know where anything was, or essentially what actually had to be done by when.. changing rego/insurances/registration on the electoral roll etc etc so as was to be expected what could go wrong did go wrong haha but I live to tell the tale..
A new city, as exciting as it is, is terrifying - you are disorientated, lonely, out of your element and a little lost if I'm honest. My head started playing the broken record of "doubt, what have you done, you are all alone and it's your fault, can I make this work, will I every know my way around, do I fit in, will I fit in, am I crazy, what's the point, is it worth it... no one will miss me.. that's it I can't go on.. should I just take that one extra step out... onto the tracks.. what are you doing, you've been here before, you can get out, you will, stop being stupid, you are stupid, pff why bother" Fun? Right? No, not at all. I spent the next week weeks signing up to things to try and shake me out of my funk.. I found myself drinking too much every night as 'something to do' I wasn't eating properly and was crying a lot..
At my lowest point in all this I reached out to a friend and another friend (by pure coincidence) reached out to me. Sometimes the universe really just gives you what you need. We had a giggle and I swapped my wine for water and watched a comedy on the couch after eating a yummy home cooked meal. I CAN MAKE THIS BETTER.
After my friend (and mindfulness coach and guardian angel) gave me some tools to get it all out of my system and on to paper to start the wheels in motion of WHAT DO I WANT TO DO. I had too many ideas/thoughts/emotions.. which was clouding my logical brain and just reacting to trigger thoughts/emotions/situations. Going through this process I came to some important realisations.. I need to do things MY way, I have to figure it out for MYSELF, there is no quick fix and this is a JOURNEY not a destination.. it WON'T happen overnight and that's GOOD. I also learned that I actually do finish what I start, but each stage of my life or decision make is a change not a giving up - it's a step in the right direction not a failure.
The conclusions I came to ultimately were:
My purpose in life is : to remove stress from peoples' lives
This has three tiers - physically, financially and mentally
I realised I don't have to achieve my life's purpose through a single means or 'business' I need to achieve it holistically and with an all encompassing approach to really help change the lives of others.
The ways I am going to achieve this are:
Financially - through my current business model under Taste.E with bookkeeping and business administration strategies that help save my client's time and money by streamlining processes, education and empowerment
Physically - I've commenced my Yoga Teacher Training - which starts next week
Mentally - I've signed up to the Big Sister program and will be creating workshops and panel discussions around mental health and coping as a business owner and entrepreneur
I am learning to be patient and allow life to happen around me a bit rather than trying to control it so much.. I wonder what happens next haha!
