The first step is always the hardest - it's the commitment, the choice, the move in a new direction. An overwhelm of emotions (in my experience) tends to come with it often no matter what the "magnitude" of the potential outcome. Did I make the right decision? What's going to happen next? I am excited! This will be amazing! Will it?
Despite this.. and knowing this was inevitable - I did just that, took step one! And now I am back at the start block again, with another STEP ONE.. and if you really stop and think, isn't every day? Every decision? A Step One to something? So I don't think we should instil fear with these steps ones or put such onus on them being the BE ALL AND END ALL.. in experience, they aren't it's JUST step one.. not IT'S STEP ONE AHHHHHH haha *you have to laugh or you'll cry right?*
Life is in the mindset. In the attitude and approach to every experience. Anything and everything can be amazing, great, positive, negative, terrifying, horrible, painful. The choice is actually yours as to how you feel it and how it is ALLOWED to affect YOU. No one DOES anything to you, no one's behaviour affects you negative - your response to their actions and words is negative. Once I realised this I was better at processing every day experiences and changing my physical and mental reactions.
This week for me was lots of STEP ONES with my first week of a dance course and first week of my Yoga Teacher Training and first week of end of month and end of quarter... Woah! Yes, I like to bite off more than I can chew and chew like hell.. to date this is what has driven me I have been known to thrive off stress - I am ultimately wanting this to no longer be my driver..
I have felt completely overwhelmed this week - new people, new knowledge, new routines and going 'back to school' so reinstating existing practices and disciplines.
As fun and exciting as it has been, I need to remind myself to pace myself and actually enjoy the journey. I have caught myself RUSHING through my days and placing strict and unrealistic expectations on myself. You must achieve all these things by tomorrow or you've been lazy, you've failed, you've wasted your time. I am still my worst critic but am GETTING BETTER.. and learning that's all I can expect.. and NOTHING MORE.
This week's mantra was 'self love' - I tried to go easier on myself - I did a few Yoga classes including a soothing Yin Class, I had a massage and bought myself a present haha - whatever works, ey?
Next week's mantra will be "be present in every moment" - this is to hopefully stop and smell the roses a bit and not sprint through this week as I felt a bit like that last week..
*Breaaaaaaathe*
